in a different light

Colorado National Monument

good sunset

We've had some really great sunsets lately. All the partly cloudy and cloudy days say goodbye spectacularly.

Had D over for dinner last night, celebrating her new freedom. The company finally sold and so that monster is off her back. It was fun to fill my porch with her laughter. We talked about Yoga, spirituality, and where our lives might be going. I do love her.

Red Japanese Maple leaves above a chartreuse creeping jenny. These japanese maples die back during a hard winter and so have never got above bush height. It's kind of cool though, they have a kind of intimacy that trees might not have. On the other hand, small trees this beautiful would create quite a nice atmosphere in that part of the garden.

Here is a shot of coral Bell blossoms floating in among some stripey red and white miniature roses. I like the airy look of this combo.

the greenhouse garden

Here's an in-season shot of the little garden in front of the greenhouse. I gave ita facelift earllier this season. The edging plants are lettuces, spinach and other greens. They are so pretty. In the middle are tomato plants, swiss chard bright lights, and beets. Up against the greenhouse are a few edible pod pea plants. I have already harvested chinese broccoli out of this garden. It was bitter and strong tasting. I won't have to grow that again. I am undecided whether to plant between the peas with morning glories or beans. Maybe I'll do both, although morning glory seeds are poisonous and it's probably not good to grow them in a food garden. I probably won't plant them then.

This has not been a good month for blog posts. Somewhat it's getting the garden going, and I'm exhausted. There are some big jobs to do and it's very tiring so I have to do a job, rest a couple of days, do a job, rest a couple of days. I do tend to get frustrated.
Also it's having something significant to say. How many times can you say that the cats are adorable? But I have had significant things happen. I just feel inadequate when it comes to putting them down.
Working with Carolyn Myss' book Divine Contracts. It's very hard work. Getting to know yourself through many questions you answer about yourself in light of archetypes like the victim, the servant, the queen. I'm really a servant and really not a queen. I haven't gotten too far but I have had some insights. My Orphan Child said "when I play with God people think I'm weird." If anybody reads this they'll probably think that's really weird. I gave that child permission to play with God again. Perhaps that's why I feel so sad today, after one good prayer session there hasn't been another peep from the Divine. (I'm having trouble deciding what term to use, God, the Tao, the Divine - I just don't know. I adored the God I once knew, intellectually I adore the Tao, The Divine sounds kind of Missy Prissy to me. I'll have to choose an option, the one thing I don't want to do is call God Him. I've had enough of the God made in the image of man.)

After giving permission to play, after accepting the chance to be healed, after realizing I had constricted who I would let god be and letting go of that, I'm back in a holding pattern. Waiting for God to come back or take me forward, waiting to find out who God is and who I might get to be if I continue in this life (I'm joking, sort of. I have a very short lifeline so sometimes I wonder about it). I feel like there's something I haven't done yet, a calling or job yet to be done. But maybe that's just existential angst.