Floating the Head

In Tai Chi we are encouraged to "float the head". This does not mean to stretch one's neck up, but to release the tension in one's neck so that the head simply "floats" into its proper position. Relatively frequently, as I work to become aware of and to release the muscle tension I habitually carry in my body, I find some new spot of tension which I can release. The most recent new one is a very tiny band of tension which goes from the side of the neck, up through through the jaw muscles and progresses up the sides and over the top of my head. When I get this just right I begin to get a feeling of what it means to "float the head". And when I get it right I feel muscles all the way down my back relaxing.

Its amazing that this little band or group of muscles also carries an emotional association, a sort of attitude of oppression. Although I never recognised it before I found this tension, now I can feel that the releasing carries the sensation of a burden of oppression being lifted off of my head. When I let it go I feel a touch of freedom, a lighthearted "I don't have to feel that way" sort of feeling.

Of course holding this tension is an old, old habit. Teaching my body that it doesn't need it any more takes a while. So all day long, every day, I practise releasing this little area every time I think of it. I tell the tension "thank you for being there when I needed you, but you're not needed any more", and telling myself, "this is right, this feels good, lets feel like this more often".

After a while the new habit takes over, and with it, a tiny little bit of new attitude. There's no big magic cure here, just an accumulation of tiny things overcome and let go.

Growth and healing never is as fast, big, or dramatic as I want it to be. But like the tiny seedlings in my greenhouse this week, small things taken care of, nurtured and allowed to grow can produce abundant fruit.

Cooking cooking cooking

Made a second effort on bread. Trying to replace the bread I love, Maple Leaf Bakeries' Multigrain, a staple in my life for the last 4 or 5 years. At nearly $4 a loaf it is now too expensive. I'm working with a recipe called Jack of All Breads from an old paperback camping cookbook which has long ago passed out of my collection. It is the only bread recipe with which I have had consistent success. Instead of wheat germ used quinoa - tasty and nutritious. Also added a mixture of seeds for their analgesic value, and because the bread I love has seeds too, especially sunflower seeds which gain a certain yummy texture and flavor when baked...I digress. Also made Arroz a la Mallorca to eat by myself over the next two weeks, and Monterey Chix with rice out of an old Southwest Cookbook to feed to friends on the ranch this weekend. I'm sure there will be more about these over the next few posts.


I hope this blog will be about the last ten years, a struggle with self, culture, hereditary expectations, Chronic Fatigue, tai chi, healing, food, Western Colorado (my home whether I like it or not, sometimes both in the same breath), and many other things including the philosophy of Terry Pratchett. May the gods bear with me.